That Hot Girl Should Pay Attention to Me

by Tim Francis on March 13, 2012

I should be rich by now.
She should be honest about her past.
I should be able to trust my business partners.

There’s two worlds you can live in, and – YES – you’ve got a choice:

1. The “Should Be” World

You feel frustrated.  You desperately hope things will change despite hard evidence (often screaming in your face) to the contrary.


  • people should care for each other
  • I should be making more money
  • I’m a good person – I should be treated better
  • that prospect should call me back
  • I should get more attention from the girl at the gym
  • he should have called by now
  • etc, etc, etc.

 2. The “As-Is” World:

Facing the facts.  Admitting what isn’t working allows you to make new plans, learn new skills, consider new opportunities.  (Move on, move up, and make money.)

Some examples:

  • People buy for vanity, greed, lust, fantasy, escape, superiority, revenge, etc.  Admit to yourself that they do, and watch your response rates explode when you build it into your copy / ads.  I wrote a blog post “$6,000 for Writing Words“, and it got 2200% more clicks than my past posts.  Massage that greed gland.  (note to self: write more similar blog posts!)
  • If you aren’t making any money, it’s not the world’s fault.  You’ve got the wrong combination of market, offer, price, message, media, etc.  And the world isn’t going to make you rich until you get it right.  I know this personally.  It’s time to wake up.  Hire help, pickup a book, talk to someone, learn to diagnose your problem, do something... anything!
  • Yes they can afford it, if they really want to.  I’ve personally experienced renters who cry to me about not being able to afford rent this month, but then drop $400 for a 27″ flat-screen TV on Boxing Day.  Son of a bitch.  Super glad I didn’t cave on that one, but I’ve screwed this up many other times where I did bend (over), and I’m still smouldering with resentment to this day.  UGH.
  • It’s YOUR job to convince people – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that they NEED to buy your product.  Don’t complain when the phone doesn’t ring, your event is sparse, or the store is empty.
  • They tell you your product is amazing, but then lock away their wallet behind a stone fortress of excuses.  But – believe it or not – it’s not their fault.  It’s YOU – you need to get better.  Improve your copy, up the ante on your offer, throw in bonuses, better money-back guarantee, all the above.  Throw the kitchen sink at the deal, and see what happens.  (My buddy owns a fitness gym; he threw the sink at a recent offer and sold out the whole thing in 18 hours.  Total stud.)
  • All customers eventually go away.  Marketer Dan Kennedy uses a racetrack expression: “Eventually they all go lame.”  I hear you already: “But my people are different.  Mr. Jones would never go to a competitor.”  STOP.  Go back to the top of this article and start again.
  • Every partnership eventually ends (sometimes with spectacular fireworks).

Do You Throw in the Towel?

So does this mean we’re all screwed?  That we should throw in the towel and give up?


Acceptance vs. Resignation

Giving up is resignation.  To be avoided.

Instead, it’s about acceptance.

It’s about taking the rose-coloured, “should-be” glasses off, and replace them with the “as-is” reality of things exactly as they are… and work with reality, not against it.

And sometimes that does mean shuttering a business, starting over, or a dramatic change of course.  But don’t ever give up on YOU.  That is the ultimate resignation and must be avoided at all costs.

Stop Swimming Against the Current

Things will flow with far greater ease.

In fact, if you simply stop fighting and just go with the current, things will get way easier.  Be quiet, listen, watch, observe.  What are you experiencing?  The world is screaming at you with feedback from all directions… if you just listen.

(Then add swimming with the current, and things really take off!)

That Sexy Lady

Find yourself wondering why the Hot Girl Isn’t Paying Attention to You, Why You Aren’t Making Any Money, a Business is Failing, or any other vexing conundrum?

Face the facts.  Your big gut, sedentary lifestyle, mullet and beat-up ’87 Impala probably have something to do with it.

Subtle Yet Sinister

Or maybe it’s more subtle – your boring life, lack of fashion sense, and cowardly approach to conversation keeps you lonely on a Friday night.

In business, friends and family pat you on the back, prospects gush about how kind you are, and your lovely lady “believes in you”…. but you’ve barely sold anything in 2 months.

Get better.  Get learning.  Hire help.  Whatever it takes.  Get to work, and observe the results.

Onwards and Upwards,


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